I just need a moment to remember this is all real.

My grandpa choked on a banana today... and now he's in the hospital.

The doctor said he won't make it through the night.
But my grandpa has proven the doctor wrong once.... sadly, I'm hoping he is right this time around.

I don't want my grandpa to suffer any longer. Whenever he coughs, you can hear that he is struggling to just get it out.
He hardly moves. He stays in one place for the whole day.
He hardly eats and it's no wonder that he is malnourished.

As insensitive as this sounds, I'm just really hoping that he will find peace.

We were never close, but I can just hope for that, right? Why let someone live if they are going to just suffer more?

There would be no point in that...

I'm hoping he will go peacefully.

The funny part of all of this is that life goes on.
The friends who don't know what happened talk to me as they use to.
I will still have to go to school and do all of my homework assignments.

Life goes on after someone passes away. The world will continue to revolve around the sun. There will always be 365 days (or 366 in a leap year) in a year.

Sure, there will be some mourning and grief, but after that, we learn to cope with it. We learn to occupy ourselves with something else. Something that will ease our pain.

I'm done ranting. If you're wondering how I feel, then the answer is sick. I almost puked in the ER because the doctor said that you only see people as malnourished as my grandpa in pictures of prisoners. The whole thought of that and being in a hospital and thinking of blood made me want to vomit. It also gave me a pounding headache.

But anyways. Everything will be alright. Everything will go back to "normal."