CRAP!

I was on the up and up when I saw you Saturday but then something happened.....
I talked to one of our friends in high school and he said you guys just hung out Sunday for another friend's birthday. Obviously that meant you guys drank because I know them... and I know that that's how they party/hang out.
I didn't like thinking that you still drank. I mean, I'm okay with it... whatever makes you happy I guess, but the long term effects worried me.

Will you be able to get over your drinking habits? How is this going to effect your brain? Are you going to be an alcoholic when you get older? What if you get into some freak accident while you're drunk now?

I guess you can say I worry about you too much, but I know that you can take care of yourself. I know that you don't need me to mother you because you already have a wonderful mother living with you.

But honestly, the real thing that bothered me was that after we graduated, you and I only hung out once and that wasn't even really hanging out, so you and I never hung out since we graduated. It just hurts to know that fact.
The fact that I won't every get to hang out with you again unless if there's a bottle of booze nearby.
The fact that we will never walk home together again.
The fact that I can't ever bake you cookies just because I freakin like you.
The fact that I can't call you for "help" on homework because I want to hear your voice and I couldn't find a better excuse to call.
The fact that I won't see you everyday which will cheer me up when I'm sad and talking to my best friend just won't do because I can't come over to your house unexpected just to see you without looking like a super stalker.

It just bums me out and makes me want to scream/shout/cry/sleep because it's just not the same anymore. I miss you and I wish I could tell you all this, but I can't without sounding like a total sap.
Great. Now the thought of you is making me cry... I wish you were here to dry my tears.