Caught up in the past of what could have been...

I feel like crap.
I wish I could have just faced the music, but when he said, "Wait... I need to tell you something," and I was already out the door, I just had to stop and turn.
I asked him, "Can't you tell me some other time?"
He responded, "No. Because we might not see each other much after this."
I gave him a concerned look and asked, "Why not?"
And he said, "Because you're the one I like..."

I closed the door and said bye to him as I walked to my car. I was shaking from the concert. I couldn't deal with that right now. I didn't want to take a chance. My excuse will always be, "I'm too young..." but when will I be too old for this?

I should have told him that my heart belongs to another, but that person's heart belongs to someone else who isn't me. That because of this person, I feel like I'm breaking apart. Slowly slowly losing myself to him. That I'm in too deep for this guy whose heart belongs to another. That I envy the girl who has him and that I have nothing else to do, but wait for him. Wait until I can get over it. I cannot, and do not, want to be in a one-sided relationship where I'm the one receiving all the affection and am not giving any out...

I'm sorry I can't say any of these words to you. I'm such a jerk.